So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
