I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
