Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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