We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I will be naked everywhere
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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