He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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