he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
