can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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