She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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