Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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