talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
