Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
