i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
