I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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