how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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