I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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