she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
