im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
