spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
