the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
