my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
