i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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