i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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