oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
