What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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