how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
