You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
