this boner is exhausting
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
