38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
