Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
