Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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