just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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