one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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