Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
