You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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