fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
