When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
