There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
