how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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