We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
