Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
