I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
