We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
