you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
