Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
