Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
