Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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