and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
