MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
