ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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