then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
