My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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